It was nothing --- or --- was it everything ?

It was almost a year ago. I was connected through a wifi in my friend's house in Singapore while my husband was having a serious talk with my friend. While doing some work, I chat with some of my friends. Suddenly a window popped and *ding* : Oii...

"It's him! I can't answer it!" I looked at my husband and my heart beat so fast.

*Does it always mean that you are doing something wrong if your heart beats fast?*

Despite all the heartbeats, the sweating, I took a decision to chat with him, Jamie. But then I was caught in the act, covered up with a lot of lies, anger and deceit. I was almost hit by my husband. It was one of the most horrible evening I had ever had in my life. I knew then...since that day, our marriage would never be the same anymore.

It was not the first time I deceived my husband. I did it once back on 2007. With an unacceptable reason I stood up and got angry also. "It was nothing. I had considered all of them as friends. So when I chatted with them, received their calls, it was just a friend getting in touch with a friend. Why bother too much?"

He couldn't understand. He stood strong on his ideas of an affair. Yes, according to him, I have had an affair, by receiving-replying emails, receiving calls, and chatting with my ex's.

Have I?